The Importance of Community to the Elderly

All human beings have innate needs. Most people think immediately of air, water, food & shelter as being the most important & they would be justified in thinking this. But, according to numerous accounts throughout history, there are other things that are needed in order for humans to survive in this world. Human touch and interaction are just as important as the other elements that we think of immediately.

There were numerous studies done in orphanages that researched the psychological effects of touch and interaction on those who've been abandoned, & conversely, what can happen if those needs are not met. The same can hold true for those who are on the opposite end of the spectrum of life. Human care, social interaction & basic community can have amazing & life giving help for those who are walking the path into old age. Here are some of the benefits.

Social benefits. If it is necessary for a person to engage in social conversation with others at various times during the day, it keeps one's mind engaged and sharp in order to be able to ask questions and answer them. It helps them to stay engaged in what is going on in the world around them, as well as to pass on their wisdom & life experience to those with whom they come into contact.

Mental benefits. Interaction with others requires focus and concentration. It often brings up points of discussion which may be of interest to us or that might lead us to seek more information on various topics. The ability to do that, and then find answers that we are looking for through research keeps our mental wits about us & can give us further wisdom to offer people.

Physical benefits. While it does not seem particularly easy to see physical benefits from social interaction, just think about when people come to visit your home. It forces one out of the status quo. You must play host or hostess by offering something to eat or drink, show people around the yard or garden, fetch a photograph of someone about whom you're talking or various other small duties throughout their visit. If a person were to simply be engaged in a television program during that time, the effort for even these small things might be regarded as “too much” and that person could easily pass 3 hours time without any physical effort at all. Another physical benefit is that they have people checking in on them on a regular basis & would have help to decipher whether or not it might be time to take a trip to a doctor if a fall or an illness do occur.

Emotional benefits. This benefit seems much more obvious to those looking. Emotionally healthy people are generally those who interact with others, show an interest in their lives & find value in their own. They are easily able to see that things can be difficult for others & develop sympathy for them. They can see that there are many positive things in their own lives & that they have much to offer to others. They can love and feel loved by others.

So how do we go about offering the gift of community to the elderly we come into contact with? First, engage them in conversation! Show that you are interested in their lives & eventually you'll be rewarded in finding some of the amazing adventures that they've lived through.

Second, visit them regularly. Do not make the mistake of thinking that your visit is not important. It may be the only one that they look forward to.

Third, keep them engaged in the world around them. If they seem to be roused by interest in politics, gardening, food or talk of the town, keep them talking about those things & bring articles that may interest them to read or watch while you are gone so that you can discuss them further in the future.

Finally, give them a hug or shake their hand to let them know that you care & are thinking of them. All of us need one another in this world.

Keeping In Touch

Staying in touch with family and friends that you care about has long been an issue that has needed to be addressed. From very early times, people have sent messages for other people along with a courier of some sort, even if it was another friend who was travelling nearby. In Victorian times letter-writing became an artform. People spent an extensive amount of time writing with beautiful manuscript. There was not a question of whether one should keep in touch, but rather, how often. These days our predicament is a little more complex. It involves not only how often to contact someone, but also HOW. What is the best way to reach that individual in a way that will be welcome & not disruptive.

This form of communication was the most popular for many of the previous decades for its ease & instant access. While the phone is easy to use, it also has its shortcomings. One of these is that people may answer even though they do not really have time to talk at that moment. Some people now feel it an annoyance rather than a welcome interruption if they do not know you will be calling.
Letter writing. This form of communication has an obvious downfall, the length of time to receive the letters. But, on the other hand, if you do not speak often with a person, you can update them on the major events of life in a relatively short missive. It also has the added benefit of a personal touch. If something is handwritten, we tend to pay closer attention to it.
Long thought of as a replacement for the handwritten letter, this form has the benefit of being free (if you have an internet connection). Email has more recently fallen out of fashion with the younger generation, however, & they rarely use this to communicate.
Some people communicate almost exclusively by text, especially if they have a very full schedule. The downfall to this is obvious in its shortness, but many people think of it as a benefit so that they do not have to engage in small talk & messages are straight to the point. Texts also do not have to be dealt with immediately, like phone calls.
Social Media. Social media sites like Facebook make it easy to communicate with family & friends, but often have the reputation of being “time wasters”. It is true that when you log in, you end up seeing notes & posts from so many people, you can end up forgetting the person you were intending to contact. It is also home to advertising of all sorts.
Visiting in person. This is, by far, the most personal form of keeping in touch. It is, however, not as common for people to “drop in” as it once was. These days you are better off calling and setting up a visit so that the other party welcomes your presence & is not offended.

So, with all of these ways to keep in touch, how do you decide how to contact a person so that you can maintain a good relationship with them? Probably the best way to decide is just to talk about it with the person. Different people prefer different things because of their time & schedule constraints. Do not be put off if they don’t like to talk for long hours on the phone, or if they do not respond to an email or letter. Try asking the best way to reach them, then be aware of their time constraints. They will sense your consideration & be appreciative that you are wanting to stay in touch.

Whatever you do, do not give up. People need to connect with others who care. They need to connect with others of varying generations & backgrounds. As an aging individual, this is something very important that you can contribute to our society, the ability to remain outward focused & intentionally keep in touch with those whom you care about. We need one another more than we know!