Gift Giving on a Limited Budget

As most of you reading this have discovered by now, growing older is not always cheap! Even with good financial planning, good insurance & a somewhat healthy body, there are unexpected things that can come up and break the bank pretty quickly. Because of this, it can make birthdays and gift exchanges at other holidays all the more stressful. The bad news might be that you find yourself in the position of not being able to spend much, if anything, on gifts for those you love. The good news is that there are options other than buying expensive gifts that are open to you if you are able to take the time to look.

The gift of time. Many people do not realize how valuable the gift of time may be to another person. If you are older, but greatly enjoy cooking, perhaps you could offer to cook a few meals for a growing family that is busy. If you enjoy reading children’s stories, have someone help you start an account of youtube where you can record yourself reading to your young family members so that you are able to read to the children even if you’re not able to be physically present at the time. Think through things that you’re good at, or things that you’ve done for work in the past & offer services in those areas. Perhaps someone could benefit from your tax knowledge & would love to not have to pay someone to do their taxes if you’re able to do it. Maybe someone could use help with mending clothes or framing a window. Do not think that just because you’re aging that you cannot offer your knowledge & skills to those that would appreciate it.

Food. Food can be a very economical gift to give if you’re on a tight budget. You could bake sweets before a gathering & box them up. You could create your own baking mixes or spice mixes & put them into jars to be use. You might even go so far as to make a few freezer meals that would be of great benefit for other people with busy schedules so that they could just pull it out of the freezer, thaw & cook for a real meal. If you wanted to do something like this, you’d need to be sure that the person(s) in question do not have any particular food allergies. If you’re unsure, always provide an ingredient list to those who will be receiving the gift.

History. A very thoughtful & inexpensive gift for those close to you might include a small book of memories of them. You would have to begin writing in advance so that it would not become a chore, but rather a delightful walk down memory lane. Include some photographs if you have them. If you are quite elderly, perhaps a book of memories would be in order for those younger ones in your family. Include the struggles that you’ve gone through, things that have helped you remain positive in order to overcome defeat & maybe even some inspiring quotes or pictures. This gift is greatly appreciated by loved ones & could prove very helpful for them if you are related and you include a bit of anecdotal health history, as well.

Books. They are generally inexpensive & can be given with the recipient in mind. If you know hobbies or interests that they enjoy, they are sure to love books that you give them on the subject. If you do not know their interests well, you could always give them a book that you’ve found enjoyable, inspiring or helpful.

Love. At the end of the day, all that most people really want is to know that you care. If you show love & care for them, there is no greater gift that you could give & there is not greater gift you could hope to receive.

De-Cluttering & Other Free Gifts To Give to Your Children (and Grandchildren)

Let's face it, minimalism is trendy right now. Everyone is wanting to de-clutter, streamline, cut back & clear things out. Perhaps it is a commentary on our culture of “too much”. Over-abundance is creating extra stress & the more we accumulate the more stressful our lives become. There is so much that we cannot see what is truly important. The table is so cluttered that we cannot find our keys. So, in the spirit of minimalism, here are a few thoughts about what seniors can give to their children & their children after them without increasing the amount of stress in their lives (and perhaps help to decrease it a bit!)

De-cluttering your own space. Instead of waiting until the day when you may be forced to move into smaller accomdations, think about beginning to go through your things now. Get rid of things that you would not feel comfortable gifting to donation centers. Yes, they may have worth, or may be useful, but if they've not been actually used in years & are not donation ready, perhaps it is time to let them go. Gather important items, like family heirlooms, and photograph them. Make a small booklet with the story of each item & why it is important to your family so that when it comes time to move, you can show it to whomever is helping you & they will understand the things of value. Lastly, DONATE! If there are specific items that you know your family members could really use, feel free to ask them if they'd like them. If not, choose your favorite donation center & start hauling! Remember, your gift to your children is that they will not have to spend weeks wading through your belongings, trying to sort through the things that matter versus the things that don't. Anyone in that situation is bound to start throwing things out willy-nilly because they just CANNOT take any more sorting! Gift them with the task already finished & a home cleared of unnecessary clutter.

Another amazing gift to give to your children is a family health history. Take a few sessions to write as much as you can remember about your own health issues over the years. Also include as much as you can about your spouse's health history & that of your extended family. If you have it all bound together in one spot, it will be a great resource for them & their children. It can give them an idea of things they can do to prevent health issues in their own lives (dietary changes for pre-diabetics, for instance). It can also help them to understand what may be going on with their current health (if they notice post-partum depression listed or described by other family members). This resource would be free to give & could end up saving them tons of money in unnecessary tests if family health history could point in the right direction for a particular cure. It can also save them from unnecessary anxiety.

A will. While it may not be exactly free, making your intentions known is certainly free. Make a proper will if you can. Include everything important. Before you even get to that step, though, just having a written document that lets your family know your intentions can be a gift of itself. Let them know if you'd like to be buried or cremated, if you have already taken care of the funeral expenses or burial plots. Let them know if there are specific items that you'd like to go to specific individuals or charities. Having all of that planned is a wonderful gift to give, and while they may think it a bit morbid if you bring it up, they'll be terribly thankful when the time comes and they don't have to make all of those decisions on their own.

A memories book. Writing a book of memories will be a joy for those who come after you, especially grandchildren & great-grandchildren. Write down things that you remember from your childhood, your first job, your first car, how much you earned at said job, etc. The mundane things of life will be terribly interesting to those in future generations as they try to piece together what your young life must've been like. Of course, also include important events, dates, etc. Just be sure that there is a record of your life somewhere. It is something that everyone always says they want to do. Phrases like, “I should really record Aunt Mildred talking about the family history,” but rarely actually gets done. Gift your memories to those after you so that they do not have similar regrets.

Memories WITH your loved ones. If you haven't been with your children or grandchildren regularly, begin making opportunities for you to get together. Even if it is simply to invite them over for coffee & cookies. The occasion need not be grand, simple is best. If you live far from them, open correspondance via phone, email, or even (gasp) the old fashioned postal service. Connection is a gift that ties many generations together.

There are probably hundreds of things that you could give as gifts to your family that do not require a shopping trip or any money exchange. I'm sure you'll think of more. These are gifts that will be long term & will pay lasting dividends of peace of mind in their lives, and in yours!

What We Can Learn From Old Family Stories

The Holidays have a tendency to bring out stories from the past. It can be a great time of re-living tales of holidays past, or other entertaining memories. It can also be a time of disturbing or deeply saddening stories that tell tales of your family history. As family members age, sometimes they feel the freedom to finally speak about times past that they haven't been able to bring themselves to speak of before. These times are certainly meant to be enjoyed, but sometimes they can be greatly beneficial to those who are willing to think a bit more deeply about what they mean.

Listen attentively to the stories going around you. You may catch hints of the emotion behind them if you listen carefully. Ask questions for clarification if you do not understand certain parts. Ask about where the events took place, ask about the age of the people involved. Get as many details as you can so that you can record the stories for future generations to enjoy.

Record the stories later by writing them down in a special book that you've set aside for this purpose. If you speak with older family members on the phone frequently, consider keeping notebook beside the phone so that you can jot notes while you speak.

Think through the implications. If you hear disturbing stories about women in your family history who have gone through strange events after giving birth, consider whether that might mean that post-par tum depression could be a pre-disposition in your genes. If there are bizarre stories of ancestors, question whether mental illnesses might be prevalent. If several people struggle with alcohol or drug abuse, think about what that could mean. There might not be official health diagnoses from those time periods, but stories can give you valuable information that may shed light on struggles that surface in your own life or those of other family members.

Research. Find out if there are ways to ensure that you & your loved ones can overcome those undesirable things that have been recurring in your family history. Even if there are things that are not physical in nature, but rather more emotional. If you see tendencies toward bitterness or unforgiveness, consider how you could change that trajectory in your own life so that you don't have to live with that extra burden. Instead of lamenting about how awful things have always been, take a chance at changing it!

Focus on the good. When you hear family histories that are about good in nature, be sure that you share those with others! Take note of those around you who have attributes that you would like to adopt. If you have a grandmother who is uncomplaining despite physical pain, ask her how she maintains her positive outlook. If you have a family member that is always good at choosing the perfect gift for others, ask them their secrets. If you have a father who perseveres despite repeated hardship, ask where he finds his strength. In short, learn from those in your family that have things to teach. They may also have tons of other attributes that are not so endearing, but choose to focus on their strengths & improving your strengths.

Old family stories can be valuable just for passing the time of day, or they can be valuable for generations to come, it just depends on you perspective. Listen, to the good and the bad. Take the good & learn from the bad. Then tell the stories (and the things you've learned from them) to those younger in your family & continue the family history!